Up until a few months ago, the possibility of whether I could be addicted to my emotions is one that’s never crossed my mind. I have no reason to ever consider that, surely?! How could I be addicted to my emotions, if the emotions that I’m feeling at any one time, is purely in reaction to my circumstances? Isn’t that perfectly rational and how every other person perceives their emotional state of mind too? I recall saying to others countless number of times, how I can control and therefore take responsibility for my actions, but yet my feelings (emotions) happen first, and are merely an honest reflection of the situation… No one’s ever argued with me.

The notion that I could be addicted to my emotions was initially suggested to me when I watched “What the bleep do we know?“ At the time I found it intriguing but unfortunately I got so distracted by the scientific explanation of peptides and how they cause us to be addicted to our emotions, that I actually failed to really absorb this idea, until yesterday that is. Incidentally, I asked someone else to watch that part of the movie as I wanted his view on peptides and carried on doing something else and only listened to it in the background, not even really trying to pay attention. That was when Adam Angle's words jumped out at me…
His reasoning was:
If we define an addiction as that which we do but do not have control over
And we say we cannot control our emotions…
Does it not hold that we are addicted to our emotions?

I don’t know what you think of that, but what kind of logic is this??? Ha! To me it sounded like he was just conveniently stating his definition in such a way that it would seem rational, but he’s losing the plot in a very obvious way! So I went on to explain to my friend what a ridiculous conclusion this man was drawing… and then as I said it, I suddenly considered the (then remote) possibility of not automatically feeling. Can we control our emotions? Funnily enough, the answer to that is a very obvious yes! In fact, I have to control my emotions all the time. (Just think about how we attach so much value to behaving appropriately, etc. This is not the same as stifling emotions by the way.) Why was it so absurd to me when it was suggested that I do have the potential to control my feelings and therefore could very well be addicted to my emotions? It was absurd only because I had never approached it quite from this angle. And now, now that I see what he means, where does it leave me?

I’d like to stick to my guns and defend my point of view as no one wants to know when they’ve been doing something wrong for 27 years! Despite the realisation coming late, I’d rather it be late than never!! My question to you now is – where do you stand? Have you always known that your feelings do not have to happen automatically? I hope for your sake you’ve known this. And if you hadn’t, then I’m glad I’ve taken the time to put this down in writing to share with you.

This article is going to turn out quite long, but allow me and please read on. I want to take this yet another step further. My next point ties in with how peptides affect us. I would really advise you to read up on this topic if you are, just like me, curious about how our minds work. I’d hate for you to take my word for it alone. I’m going to try out, researcher and pharmacologist, Candace Pert’s book - ‘Molecules of emotion’ as I’d love to be more knowledgeable on this topic. Here’s also an interesting link I found to an interview with Candace Pert.

However, to explain things in simple terms – In reaction to a craving by our cells (motivated by the number of receptors for these peptides our cells have) our brain (hypothalmus) produces peptides. The minute we feel an emotion, the matching peptide will be released by the amygdalae (part of brain responsible for processing emotion and memory) which can then slot into our cells’ receptors. Smokers have nicotine receptors (in fact I believe all people have some which is why smoking is so dangerously addictive), while cocaine (and also other recreational drugs) serve the dopamine receptor. In terms of emotions, our brain produces peptides and we have matching receptors for our emotions too! These cells I’m referring to, incidentally is not just in the brain, but everywhere in the body. As an addiction develops, our cells actually develop an increased number of receptors matching the peptide or externally taken drugs we are addicted to. This is why stronger dosages of drugs (nicotine, cocaine, etc.) would be needed to create the same effect. As our addiction grows so does the number of receptors.

{Peptides are molecules formed by linking amino-acids in a certain order. Amino Acids are the building blocks of protein.}

Getting back to my point, if it holds that we may indeed be addicted to our emotional states and this is caused by the interaction between peptides and receptors, where does circumstantial triggers fit in? Before I was aware of any of the science behind my emotions, I was under the impression that my emotional states were caused by external situations - Circumstances that are external and therefore outside of my control. This is where I pause. Yes, this is where I pause, and initially refuse to acknowledge what this new angle confronts me with. Does this imply that in reality we create the circumstances around which our addictive emotions can rationally surface?

Are we just as blatantly addicted to our emotions as the smoker to his cigarettes? And instead of merely popping into the corner shop to feed our addiction, do we inadvertently orchestrate our lives around our emotional addictions?

Scoff the idea all you like, in fact that’s how I managed to absorb it in the first place, but whatever you do, don’t just reject it out of hand.