How do we set about discovering a set of well grounded beliefs certain to result in a happy, constructive life?

1. Understand yourself

Look inwards. Learn to know what makes you tick and what upsets you. I personally pay a lot of attention to changes in my emotions and try to understand why a certain event brings about a particular reaction. I've discovered I have a set of core beliefs that collectively defines me at my 'lowest' level. With lowest, I am referring to an emotional set point which I cannot drop beyond. In addition, I also hold a set of what I like to call 'operating assumptions'. Operating assumptions are beliefs that I consciously choose to hold (even though I am not entirely convinced of it) because it makes me feel happier and live life more fully. Without my set of operating assumptions in place quite possibly life would seem pointless, painful and unbearable. This is when depression starts to set in. I believe that people who suffer from long term depression has a set of core beliefs which in the absence of some or all of their operating assumptions, make life too unbearable.

What makes an Operating Assumption cave in?
As an operating assumption is merely something I choose to take as true, even though in reality, I actually believe something else, any experience that reinforces the possibility that my core belief holds true and my operating assumption doesn’t, would cause it to fall flat.

Here’s an example:

Core belief: Life is difficult.
Operating assumption: Life is what I make of it. There are plenty of opportunities to attain the life that I want. I just have to open my eyes and take action!
Triggering events: Constantly failing in a particular objective.

So I consciously choose to live my life based on the basis of this operating assumption, but after a while find myself down in the dumps because I can no longer sustain the assumption and finally it caves in and I’m back to square one thinking - Life is difficult!
Right now at this point in time, this particular operating assumption of mine is holding strong. But after an upsetting event, I might end up dropping it and feeling down because I’ve given in to the belief that life is indeed difficult.

I’m still trying to figure out how to escape this ongoing cycle. How could I permanently raise my core beliefs to equal my operating assumptions so that I can avoid the accompanying lows? I suppose I have to prove it to myself one way or another and only as a result of that, my core belief will change. After all, I can only believe what I hold to be true based on my life experiences up till now. I guess realising the distance to go between a particular belief and assumption is the first step… Perhaps the answer is to look for reinforcements in our lives that will start to move us in the direction of the assumption, and as a result slowly move the lever closer and closer… until we finally achieve a higher core belief, and hopefully as a result become a happier person with a happier life.

So then, how do we move that lever? Here’s a few quick pointers I‘m using myself:

1. Learn through example

Start paying attention to the opinions and mindsets of people around you - especially those that seem happier than you are. Try to see if there are differences in how they observe the world compared to your own view. If you can't figure out where they're coming from, ask. Ask them and really listen to their perspective. To change requires an openness to new ways of seeing things. Once you see a view that you can relate to, absorb it into your own system… it will start off as an operating assumption of course, but over time as you observe more reinforcements of this new ‘truth’ it could become a new part of your belief system.

2. Venture out

Do something different. Hang out with a new bunch of people. The importance of having new experiences should not be underestimated. New experiences opens up new avenues of knowledge. The saying "what you don't know won't hurt you", is true, but so is the reverse. Lack of knowledge could disempower you without you even being aware of it. Read, research, live and experience life. Take it all in and let the best of your experiences shape you and set the pace for your future experiences.

4. Persist
Don’t give up.
At times it may be hard, but don’t stay down. And don’t indulge too much in feeling low. Remember, your brain sculpts itself around your behaviour. The more you persist with your new outlook, the more natural it will start to be to see things from the new perspective.

5. Experiment
If at first a new concept enters your life that you cannot relate to, give it a chance. Take for example the ‘Law of Attraction’. Holding this belief must be the most empowering one you could ever absorb, but to most of us it’s such a foreign way of looking at things, that we just want to dismiss it and label it as wishful thinking. You can ask me… I’m not there yet, but I’ve remained open to it, and I cannot ignore the unlikelihood of the coincidences I keep noticing. Sometimes life seems totally surreal, like one long dream that I’m just not waking up from and I just laugh and smile to myself. It’s quite odd. Even though I’m totally aware of the strange coincidences that’s happening in my life, it’s not like I can say ’Hey, caught you, you can come out now… ’ . Haha, I must sound totally nuts! But it’s true. So many times I just shake my head and smile. Where does it all end? I just seem to go ever deeper down the rabbit hole!

6. Take a step back
I’ve learned the importance of taking a step back and observing myself and my life from an ‘external’ perspective. I’ll look at myself as though I’m looking at someone else. Of course, I cannot be sure I would observe another person in the same way, but it helps me to see where I’m going… A part of me also feel that even though I associate with my physical entity and I have access and direct control over only my own mind and physical body, I simultaneously feel connected to others around me. There’s a possibility that it may be the ‘Law of attraction’ mindset kicking in, but I sometimes feel in tune with my surroundings, almost to the extent where I feel that I may actually be influencing it on more than a superficial level..

Update on 24 March 2008:
Very Highly recommended reading - discusses the role of the conscious and subconscious (and where beliefs enter the equation) in shaping behaviour:
http://www.brucelipton.com/article/mind-over-genes-the-new-biology